Why Are You Destroying Yourself?

For the first time in 6 weeks, I set my alarm to wake up this morning. I’ve been fortunate enough that kids, wife, or nature will wake me up in time to be productive for the day. However, I noticed that my son is arriving to school a little later each day. I don’t like it when he’s at school and they have already started the lesson plan. So, I figured its time to set the alarm.

Boardwalk through cattails on a lake during Autumn.

When I awoke, I was groggy, and wanted to go back to sleep. Of course, I snoozed twice. I am a snoozer if I can. Finally, I decided its time for me to get up, but I wasn’t ready. I’ve got about two dozen books on my nightstand ready for browsing and reading. On a whim, I opened my bible to random page like I like to do:

Here’s what I read:

God…asks you: “Why are you destroying yourselves?”
Jeremiah 44:7 New Living Translation

Wow, what a wake up call for the morning.

How am I destroying myself?

  • I’m announcing my goals and failing to meet them i.e. Not blogging every Tuesday & Thursday.
  • I’m exercising when I feel like it rather than making exercise immutable.
  • I’ve been terrible in the productivity department. Take now, I’m writing this blog post when I have other more pressing priorities and tasks.
  • I’m searching for my working identity. Where is it?  Who am I?
  • I eat too much food. Its autumn and my appetite is out of control. I’m not exercising as much. I wonder if my ancestors were cold weather hibernators. Does my body feel the cold Chicago winter coming on and is it building its winter fat stores? How cruel.
  • My diet is bad. Its not terrible, but its definitely not good. Take today. I had two fast-food hamburgers, a large french fry, and a small chocolate shake from Culver’s. I just had a hamburger on Sunday, and have fast food at least once or twice a week.
  • I will eat too much ice cream, cookies, cake, or other sweets for after dinner desserts. Even if I just have a benign grilled chicken with vegetables, I end up eating too much.

Who’s at fault for the destruction?

Its not the food’s fault. It’s not my family’s fault. It’s not my injuries or anything. Its my fault. As God mentions above: Why are you destroying yourself? I am the one at fault.

I’m destroying myself by my actions. These actions are not indicative of the lifestyle I want to live. Yet, I know by talking about it, I have just relieved the mind. At the same time, I also know I’m not as bad as it sounds.

What can I do to stop destroying myself?

One) I can stop the negative self-talk.
Sure, I’m not exercising 5 times a week each day for 60 to 90 minutes a day like all the science studies suggest. However, I’m still exercising two to three times a week. That was much more than I was doing this time last year. This time last year, I was not exercising at all. Productivity wise, sure, I might not be doing the high priority tasks, but I am doing the medium priority tasks. Action: Accentuate the Positive!

Two) Make Exercise Immutable even in the Fall/Winter/Spring time.
Find an offseason training program that can i fit in my schedule pronto! Find my next event to participate in.  Century Ride?  Triathlon?  Walk?  Hike?

Three) Plan meals better.
I often eat out due to my lack of meal planning.

The thing is, I still have not answered God’s question: Why am I destroying myself?

How about you: How and Why are you destroying yourself?

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